This Doesn’t Smells like Teen Spirit!

All apologies to late Kurt Cobain

GANGTOK, 10.15 PM
The Madman says “Nico you are too anti-establishment”. Hell, I’m anti-everything that does not seem or smell right. Whoever coined the phrase ‘shop till you drop’ (and I bet my skinny ass it was a woman and a shopaholic at that) should be made to shop at Lall Bazaar, y’know that car park turned Sabzi Mandi, to understand the full and literal implication of the phrase she unwittingly gave such a rosy tint to.

SHOPPING HORRORS: I hate shopping, any kind of shopping. Yes, even those involving clothes. And a reluctant ‘trip’ to Lall Bazaar today has done little to help me change the way I feel about this particular activity. You know what, somebody should put up a massive signboard right at the Lall Bazaar entry point: ‘ABANDON ALL HOPE YE WHO ENTER HERE’. An hour long shopping with my mom in this cluttered inferno of vegetable stalls has convinced me that this is surely a glimpse of hell on earth. Trust me, I’m reeling from after-effects.

WAR WITHIN A BREATH: The first thing that hits you is that curious smell of vegetables in various stages of decay, dried fish, spices, fermented soybean and god knows what else. Add dragon breaths and smelly perspiring armpits to complete the picture. Welcome to the war zone. The moment you enter, your eyes sting, your nostrils and throat burn and you go on a coughing fit. With one hand you feebly try to cover your nose and with the other wipe tears off your eyes. Is this one of the infamous gas chambers used by the Nazis during WW II?

CALM LIKE A BOMB: Just when you think you have finally acclimatised yourself, they drop the F-Bomb. This Fart Bomb, or Weapon-F if you please, is a very potent assault weapon. It can immediately disorient the victim or, as observed in some cases, hit the pause button of his / her brain seconds after the bomb is launched. It can hit you anywhere, anytime without the slightest of provocation.

KNOW YOUR ENEMY: Be paranoid. Be very paranoid. You never know that harmless looking lady over the corner or that ruggedly handsome chap at the fruit stall could be your potential enemy. It’s a real test of patience out there. Plus it’s essential you learn the ‘moves’, especially those that involve dodging porters with 12 cartons of whatever on their heads or the lady / gent with a loaded shopping bag without losing your balance and your belongings. You cannot trust them not to thump you on your head, back or wherever with their cartons, bags, elbows or whatever. Because everyone thinks they need to be somewhere [wherever that might be] before anyone else, get their greedy hands on the best goodies before anyone else, get out of the inferno before anyone else and get home before everyone else. It’s a selfish world out there and Lall Bazaar brings out the worst in all of us.

Oh, by the way, there’s still this tingling sensation in my assailed-beyond-imagination nostrils and my throat is itchy. Damn!

- NICO -
AIZAWL: Whoever told you that this land is free is your enemy...all of which are our dreams all of which are our dreams...Been stayin in my world for too long for me to post such aforesaid stories from Gangtok. Here there was a bank strike for a week and I was hung dry...got really drunk for no aparent reasons every night except this night,by the way Alcohol is prohibitted here in Aizawl...So who's laughing now...Will post more when words comes to me...Nico my condolences again...Striking out THE MADMAN