Diary of a Madman & Nico

Breathing in

2006-09-10T03:19:00.000-07:00

I have been away so long I don't know where I've left off...Lemme start with a "Hello" Nico must be wondering why I did not update my blog...well I must inform her that I am plain busy, and have no time to think straight outside of work....
Political happenings: RTI (right to information) Act is being utilized in Aizawl and all the MLA's are shittin in their pants when all their travellin allowances and what not Sheets were published, I have a lovely time reading it while sitting on the POTTY:) Scandals Scandals I love it .
carry on with the verse.....

Mobile phone free

2006-07-25T11:18:00.000-07:00

I of all people am free of this junk called the cellular phone, and sheesssh I am loving it. I can be where- ever I want without nebody nagging me, and I can just be alone without being asked why i switched off my phone...or why I did not reply to their dum sms'eses.
Now I snicker @ those who use the mobile phone ....suckers... and they all fight with their bosses. girlfriends, boyfriends, common friends whatever frens they stay in touch with thru wireless connections...
Its a good device but hey now that I am free i feel compeled to share it wit ya...call me in eon years when I marry a butterfly in july. And yes BSNL Sucks.....
- MADMAN

THE DOWNSIDE OF BEING MOBILE PHONE-FREE
There are only a few things Madman and I disagree on and BSNL’s cellular phone service is one of them. I can’t understand how a peace and nagging-free environment loving Madman can hate BSNL! Because if remaining untraceable is what you want, you gotta go for BSNL cellular services.

There’s a twin advantage to this. By subscribing to BSNL, you allow the rest of the world to remain under the delusion that you’re ‘connected’ hence available anytime. At the same time, you buy yourself complete peace of mind, knowing fully well that they can’t reach you. BSNL will make it their utmost duty to make sure either ‘all the routes are busy’ or that you’re simply ‘not within the network area’ every time someone tries to call you.

Ditching a phone is never a good idea. It’s just like buying yourself some temporary relief. As long as people know you have a phone connection, even one that doesn’t work, they get the feeling that they can always get even with you some other time. They’ll try calling you up a couple of times and when they don’t get through, they’ll just say to themselves, “Oh, there’s no hurry. His/her phone is not going anywhere.”

However, when they get to know that you’re no longer connected, they freak out, y’know! It’s like if they don’t hunt you down personally, pounce on you and give you grief, they’ll miss out on nirvana or something.

So the moral of the story is don’t go hating on cell phones and BSNL. Together, they make a perfect team if you don’t want to be disturbed by phone calls, text messages and personal visits of the unwanted kind ;)
- NICO

7 days in the rain / 4 nights in the dark

2006-06-03T13:08:00.000-07:00

My Government has banned Da Vinci's Code...the Information Minister has asked the good christian citizens of mizoram to turn in all Dan Brown's book so they could incinerate it. What a joke. What am i gonna do with all my copies HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

So It was my B'day on the second last day of last month ( 30th May, dimwits) and thunder struck like AC/DC and all went dark <> and it continued till five thirty pee yam IST!!! It was boring, Very Very Very BORING.
Imagine no TV, No Winamp, no nothing just Unplugged from the gr8 prowess arrrrrrrr...It's a killing joke...Wish I could use all the F word in the world to describe what I went through during those gruellin 4 nites.

My Beezzeeness also plunged due to seven days of rain, Landslides and road blocks due to that...What could be the factor leading to these misfortunes...well again THE GOVERNMENT who else. But It stopped as of last evening and now what I am concerned about is jumping back.

Nico love ya for what you wrote...lets kick ass again.

THE GANGTOK CHAPTER

A word of advice to Mizoram Information Ministry: why incinerate when you can recycle them and save some trees? *wink*

I’m fed up with these governments and political parties who think it’s their God-given right to do all the thinking for the people, as if the latter can’t think for themselves, and impose ‘their’ decisions on others! Yea, they can take all those books and shove it up their shit-hole. That should stop them from churning out more crap for some time.

Ahh… talk about rain and landslides! It’s been a little more than a week since Gangtok has been suffering a water crisis, following a landslide on the intervening night of 7 June that wrecked the supply line from the main source to the reservoir. Though the concerned department has been saying they have made operational an alternative supply line, water from that particular alternative supply line has somehow failed to flow through the taps installed at my home.

Oh, and the ‘bucket race’ going on in my neighbourhood has not stopped either. It starts every morning with people running to the nearest spring or jhora to fill their buckets and lasts till the time people have to go to work. Then the race resumes after they come back home from work. And I wonder why!

Happy Birthday, Madman

2006-05-29T20:19:00.000-07:00

When you are sad,
I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge against the scummy bastard who made you sad.

When you are scared,
I will laugh at you and tease you about it every chance I get.

When you are worried,
I will tell you how much worse it could be and to quit complaining.

When you are confused,
I will use little words to explain it to your dumb butt.

When you are sick,
I will hold your hair while you pay homage to the porcelain God.

When you fall,
I will point and laugh at your clumsy butt.

This is my oath.I pledge till the end.

Why you may ask?
Because you're my friend.

Love & lotsa birthday bumps

- NICO

Myspace Graphics

Back from Hibernation

2006-04-13T11:24:00.000-07:00

GANGTOK: Guess who’s back… back again? Nico’s back, tell a friend… la la.. dum de dum…

Okay, that was a lame attempt at making a grand (re)entry. I know neither the Madman or I have been regular lately when it comes to updating this blog. And we have perfectly valid reasons as to why.

About a month back, being a madman that he is, Zoe climbed into a time machine and went back to the dark ages… you know the era when there were no telephones, no computers or internet connection. And for some profound reasons known only to him, he refuses to come back. Maybe he likes it there. May be he hates me for hogging a good portion of his blog space here ;) May be he hates people who read but don’t post a comment or two. It could be anything… really!

As for me, you can call it sheer laziness. On second thoughts, if you promise not to tell anybody, I’ll let you in a secret – I’m doing a self-funded research on the spiritual benefits of indolence, which obviously is aimed at exposing the myth that sloth is one of the seven mortal sins. I’m out to disprove that and that explains the long silence.

Allow me to give you a few pointers:
Laziness is extremely beneficial for your spiritual growth. See, what happens is, when you renounce worldly labour, you get more time to meditate... and you can meditate over just about anything.

Meditation, in turn, accelerates your chances of earning spiritual brownie points. For instance, you can contemplate on whether or not you should drink that last can of coke sitting on the refrigerator shelf on a frigging hot summer day. After mulling over it for half an hour, you realise you already knew the answer even before you asked the question. So you lazily stroll towards the fridge and do the needful. Though your roomie might not appreciate it, at least initially, you will be happy in the knowledge that you helped him/her stick to her diet plan by eliminating wicked temptation.

And in reward, not only do you get to drink a can of coke, you also earn good karma. For extra good karma points, try emptying the entire fridge. Yes, your roomie will hate you for it; he/ she may even either throw you out or move out themselves, but then great people are never appreciated… not until they’re dead. And if you endorse laziness, sit around doing nothing, eating and drinking junk, you’re already on your way to being dead. Shortcut to sainthood via Laze Ville, what say you!

Oh, by the way, I kinda miss the way you used to follow up whatever I posted, my dear Madman. So bring on the good ol’ times back!

Peace.

- NICO -

A Caller Fumes Over Caller Tunes

2006-03-12T09:18:00.000-08:00

I don’t know what’s with cellular phone service providers these days! Seems like they are bent on scaring their existing subscribers away. I’m like running fever big time when I get a call from this Bengali speaking woman. After my numerous attempts to make her understand that I do not understand Bengali, she finally sees the light.

She then asks me, “Do you understand Hindi?”
“Uh-huh, a lil,” I tell her. Big mistake!

Like an athlete reacting promptly to the whistle of the referee, she launches into a verbal marathon in Hindi where she tells me she’s from Hutch and I’m one of the ‘lucky’ subscribers ‘selected’ to avail of a limited time discount on ‘caller tunes’. Okay, first thing, I find caller tunes pretty irritating. Try as I might, I fail to understand why the hell should I pay anything to torture my friends with sorry half-assed renditions of so-called popular songs every time they call up! I wouldn’t even download it even if it came absolutely free. Besides, I do not appreciate tele-pushers. Plus I cannot be sure if she’s the real deal.

I say ‘thanks but I’m not interested’ and hang up.

My phone rings again. It’s the caller tunes lady again. While it’s apparent that my command over Hindi is not exactly enviable, it seems the lady pusher here had somehow managed to skip all her English classes in school. So while I try to make her understand that I’m simply not interested in the ‘offer’, she doggedly continues enlightening the ignorant me what a caller tune is for something like 10 minutes.

Exasperated, I say: “Look lady, I know what a caller tune is but I don’t want it.”
She says (in English): “No, no, caller tunes. Caller tunes, you understand?”
I say: “Yes, I understand perfectly well what a caller tune is. I just don’t want it.”
She insists: “No, caller tunes, caller tunes. Big discount!”

I try taking deep breaths. It doesn’t help. I bang my head against my bedroom wall. My forehead hurts but it still does nothing to improve the situation. I put in everything I got not to give into that urge to holler!

Quite certain that it’s no use wasting her energy on explaining what a caller tune is to the dumb me, she then quite sternly demands to know my name and how much talktime I got left on my phone. Hullo! Since when did service providers start gathering info on their own subscribers over the phone? Even though at my wits end, I calmly tell this lady peddler that I would prefer not to give that kinda information over the phone, especially when I have no way of ascertaining if she actually is who she claims to be. She does not understand a fucking word I say.

After another 10 minutes of me trying to make her understand that I don’t want to download caller tunes on my phone, she lets out a big sigh (you know the kind that says “Okay dumbass, I’ve had it with you and your stupidity”!) and says the magic word I’ve been dying to hear – “Okay”. Though I’m not exactly sure what that okay means – it could be “okay, I understand you are not interested in the offer” or “okay, forget I even called”. But this I am dead certain of, she is tired of her attempts to beat some sense into, what she thinks, my thick skull and wants to end the conversation. God in heaven be praised!

In retrospect, I can laugh at the incident. But it was no laughing matter for me yesterday when I was being made to go through something that was no less than torture by that stupid, condescending bitch! Already we subscribers are being made to pay through our noses even for basic services and we can do without further harassment. If mobile connectivity means this, I’d rather remain immobile and be spared the harassment.

- NICO -

This Doesn’t Smells like Teen Spirit!

2006-03-10T08:25:00.000-08:00

All apologies to late Kurt Cobain

GANGTOK, 10.15 PM
The Madman says “Nico you are too anti-establishment”. Hell, I’m anti-everything that does not seem or smell right. Whoever coined the phrase ‘shop till you drop’ (and I bet my skinny ass it was a woman and a shopaholic at that) should be made to shop at Lall Bazaar, y’know that car park turned Sabzi Mandi, to understand the full and literal implication of the phrase she unwittingly gave such a rosy tint to.

SHOPPING HORRORS: I hate shopping, any kind of shopping. Yes, even those involving clothes. And a reluctant ‘trip’ to Lall Bazaar today has done little to help me change the way I feel about this particular activity. You know what, somebody should put up a massive signboard right at the Lall Bazaar entry point: ‘ABANDON ALL HOPE YE WHO ENTER HERE’. An hour long shopping with my mom in this cluttered inferno of vegetable stalls has convinced me that this is surely a glimpse of hell on earth. Trust me, I’m reeling from after-effects.

WAR WITHIN A BREATH: The first thing that hits you is that curious smell of vegetables in various stages of decay, dried fish, spices, fermented soybean and god knows what else. Add dragon breaths and smelly perspiring armpits to complete the picture. Welcome to the war zone. The moment you enter, your eyes sting, your nostrils and throat burn and you go on a coughing fit. With one hand you feebly try to cover your nose and with the other wipe tears off your eyes. Is this one of the infamous gas chambers used by the Nazis during WW II?

CALM LIKE A BOMB: Just when you think you have finally acclimatised yourself, they drop the F-Bomb. This Fart Bomb, or Weapon-F if you please, is a very potent assault weapon. It can immediately disorient the victim or, as observed in some cases, hit the pause button of his / her brain seconds after the bomb is launched. It can hit you anywhere, anytime without the slightest of provocation.

KNOW YOUR ENEMY: Be paranoid. Be very paranoid. You never know that harmless looking lady over the corner or that ruggedly handsome chap at the fruit stall could be your potential enemy. It’s a real test of patience out there. Plus it’s essential you learn the ‘moves’, especially those that involve dodging porters with 12 cartons of whatever on their heads or the lady / gent with a loaded shopping bag without losing your balance and your belongings. You cannot trust them not to thump you on your head, back or wherever with their cartons, bags, elbows or whatever. Because everyone thinks they need to be somewhere [wherever that might be] before anyone else, get their greedy hands on the best goodies before anyone else, get out of the inferno before anyone else and get home before everyone else. It’s a selfish world out there and Lall Bazaar brings out the worst in all of us.

Oh, by the way, there’s still this tingling sensation in my assailed-beyond-imagination nostrils and my throat is itchy. Damn!

- NICO -
AIZAWL: Whoever told you that this land is free is your enemy...all of which are our dreams all of which are our dreams...Been stayin in my world for too long for me to post such aforesaid stories from Gangtok. Here there was a bank strike for a week and I was hung dry...got really drunk for no aparent reasons every night except this night,by the way Alcohol is prohibitted here in Aizawl...So who's laughing now...Will post more when words comes to me...Nico my condolences again...Striking out THE MADMAN

SHAKEN, NOT YET STIRRED

2006-03-07T01:50:00.000-08:00

GANGTOK: Who do you blame when you are feeling fucked up? The government, of course! That was a lame attempt at making light of our shaky foundations, literally or otherwise. I’m disgusted with the poor joke that our government is. Compared to this bunch of morons – who are assisted by another set of useless bureaucratic imbeciles – at the helm, the feline population seems to have a much better upbringing. At least the cats make attempts at covering up after they crap; these jokers can’t even be bothered to do that.

The recent earthquake in Sikkim did shake up a lot of local people. Hell, it even roused our lazy butts out of bed early morning and made us go checking for cracks and damages to our precious properties, and carry out necessary repair / strengthening works. The quake, apparently, had a particular liking for government buildings. Otherwise why would it shake government establishments with a lot more vigour? Well, most of the damaged structures are government establishments, aren’t they? Unfortunately, the tremor estimated 5.7 on the Richter Scale did little to shake the government out of its lethargy. Some quick governmental / bureaucratic visits to the affected areas, preparation of damage estimate and fax petition for natural calamity funds to the Centre – that’s it.

So what more do you expect, you ask. Well, for starters, I expect newly made governmental buildings and other structures not to start cracking before they are actually inaugurated. What am I talking about? Our sparkling new Khangchendzonga Shopping Plaza. Oh wait, now it’s called Lall Bazaar Shopping Plaza. Or has it been renamed again?

No matter how many times the government changes the name of that new shopping centre in the name of preserving Sikkimese heritage, they cannot change the fact that this particular ‘heritage’ is kinda cracked up. I wonder if anyone remembers but a local English daily had reported some years ago that cracks were already developing around this structure while the construction work was still on. But they hushed it up real quick. Thanks to the recent earthquake, the cracks were exposed (even before the plaza could be inaugurated) and so were the official lies.

I mean you gotta give it to them for consistently screwing up. First, they ‘miscalculate’ and construct inadequate number of shops, and now this! Cracks, and wide gaping ones at that, and those MOFOs try to convince us “they are just superficial cracks”. Yeah right. Superficial development, superficial cracks. Makes perfect sense, doesn’t it?

Another to make it to the ‘Recently Made But Already Cracked’ list is our ‘ultra modern’ Paljor Stadium. Inaugurated late last year by none other than President Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam himself, the stadium has an interesting construction history of its own. This one takes the cake hands down for its delays in completion of renovation / reconstruction, numerous re-estimates of the financial kind and their subsequent departmental sanctions.

Conduct departmental enquiries into these matters? Why bother?

Gangtok, the capital town of this state touted as ‘perfect tourism destination’. Gangtok, a town abounding in oxymoron. You don’t have to go too far; just take a walk to the ‘View Point’ at Nam Nang, just close to the Sikkim Legislative Assembly building, which incidentally is another government structure on the cracked list, and come face to face with what the state is serving the tourists in the name of ‘breathtaking views’. Broken footpaths that refuse to take the visitors to the ‘promised land’. Urban Development Department, if you are serious about the tag of development you carry around, the least you can do is repair the footpaths around, what you call, ‘places of tourist interest’, if you can’t construct sturdy ones in the first place!

It’s a real pity, my dear government, that there are no crack creams or anti-wrinkle serums to cover up the mess you have created in the name of development. But why worry when you are bold enough to let it all hang out… and that too quite unapologetically.

- NICO -
ENTER THE MADMAN
AIZ: Since I have nothing much new to say abt the govt, I am gonna tell you story abt bloopers by ministers while delivering their speech...

1. " I like your programme , AIDS without education"

2. "I Wanna Congragruch you ...sorry..I wanna congralutate you in our success.."

3. "We are underdeveloping this bridge...."

I will post more when I can recall them...all of those that I know...Hold on.

FIRST CUT

2006-02-27T02:46:00.000-08:00

SIKKIM ACT 1 Scene 1

I've got a soul that cannot sleep at night when something just ain’t right -- The Power of Equality; Red Hot Chilli Peppers

It certainly was not my intention to start off bitching like this. But frequent power cuts always manages to have this magical effect on the nerves of people like me, people who can still feel and react to the power play of the powers that be.

POWERLESS: The Government of Sikkim has been harping for what seems like ages about how the state has the potential to generate enough hydroelectric power – not only to meet internal demands but also export surplus power to “other needy areas”. Despite the rhetoric, of late, certain parts of the Capital town of Gangtok are being practically left in the dark by the powers that be. The Power Development Corporation took over power sector from the state government less than six months ago amidst much controversy, but it has not fared any better than its predecessor when it comes to doing its job. I’m kinda confused here – do they mean muscle flexing or electricity when they say ‘power development’! If the government and whatever corporation can’t meet internal demands – and this after displacing people living in areas falling under the hydroelectric power ‘project sites’ – shame on them. And shame on the rest of us for taking this lying down.

YOU DON’T NEED NO EDUCATION: Alright, Sikkim has been bagging awards for this and that at the India Today conclave for the past couple of years. And if I remember correctly, one of them was ‘best state among smaller states in the field of education’ (funny how they always somehow managed to forget to include the ‘among smaller states’ part in their press releases and speeches!).

Now that said, isn’t it amazing how everyone expects kids to study sans electricity as if they have built-in night vision. Yoo-hoo! School examinations start on the first of March, remember sweethearts? For a person who claims not to think too much, I’ve been doing a bit of thinking lately and all my thinking has only led me to wonder one thing: shouldn’t the Department of Human Resource Development (formerly known as Education Department) have been the first to cry itself hoarse over these frequent power cuts? But why bother when you got a scapegoat. The department can always blame the teachers in case the results are ‘not satisfactory’, right? And the teachers, in turn, can blame the parents, and the parents their kids. The kids, in their turn, can fling back the accusations at their teachers. See, it’s a vicious circle, but one that spares the concerned department and the power(less) corporation.

And if some of the school buildings in rural parts of Sikkim are any indication of what the government and HRD Department mean by ‘quality education’, hell, I say: take it easy and just give them kids some normal education, alright! Leaking roofs, no roofs, crumbling walls, missing window panes, congested classrooms, inadequate number of classrooms, rickety old furniture… well, you get the picture. And throw in some unenthusiastic rookie teachers to complete the monstrosity our village kids get in the name of education.

GAMES PEOPLE PLAY: But then again, no matter how big the mess, you can always play that game called ‘pass the buck’ – and ultimately the blame can be thrust squarely on the shoulders of the almighty Central Government. Man, I believe in the power of power decentralisation: the power to spread power away from the Centre to local governments – and the power of the latter to centralise all locally created screw-ups, send them back to the Centre and wash their hands clean off the matter. These are only simple instances of the state of affairs of this ‘blessed land’; the rot lies deep and thick.

WE LOVE (Y)OUR APATHY: The public is nothing but mute spectators. Oh, they can cry bloody foul at the drop of a hat, all right. The only problem is they show signs of life only for the wrong reasons. Lily-assed rascals, all of them! If they’d put in a fraction of the effort they put in fanning the fire of communalism and pimping their souls for easy money, Sikkim would have truly been a Shangri-La, heaven on earth, as the tourism board here likes to boast.

This is my fight / come on courage, let’s be heard / turn feelings into words … Not another motherfuckin’ politician doin’ nothin’ but something for his own ambition -- The Power of Equality; RHCP

RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT: Media here has always maintained an eerie silence over issues that matter, issues of public interest. Why? Because their bread and butter comes from the government, in the form of government advertisements, notices and stuff like that. And that’s because Sikkim sorely lacks big corporate houses and business establishments; that’s bad news for the media in terms of raking in big advertising bucks. So the modus operandi is very simple: if they try exercising their freedom of speech and expression, cut ’em off the ‘government dole for the media’ list.

In earlier political regimes, they simply burnt down the publication office and printing press, besides, of course, throwing the publisher/editor/reporter in question in the slammer. But these are days of ‘real’ democracy and they do everything in a refined, democratic manner; yes, even those things that are not very democratic in spirit. Just snip off the lifeline of the media, which of course is funds, and they either down the shutters or stop cribbing. And there you have it – complete peace of mind.

Democracy is just a demo of hypocrisy and freedom a farce. Give me one local newspaper that will agree to publish what I’ve written here and I’ll slave for you for a year without remuneration. Janis Joplin once sang “freedom is another word for nothing left to lose and nothing is what Bobby left me”. Well, in this present state of affairs, what have I got to lose but my temper!

- NICO -

- Madman Enters- MIZORAM- Act 1, Scene 2

"Keep your eyes on the road your hands upon the wheel"
There is just nothing that MY government do to better the lives of the people of Mizoram, Ministers and their PF's,their obsessions with lavish Sedans and their lack of knowledge about the roads they are travelling on. Ok I for one is sure a private person, like all the tinted glasses on my car but I know I can look out and see...These bloody ministers can't even look out the window of their cars, lil' do they know one can wish upon a lucky star, leaning out the window of a car.
Should I blame it on the engineers, or their superiors
Should I blame it on the lay person or their employers
Mother SHOULD I drop The BOMB and blame it on the government...This I can do.
I hate it when I hit a bump, and whenever I hear a thump on the suspension arm of the wheel of my car, I hate it when I rotate my tyres and have to lay my eyes on the uneven wear of the rubbers...all I ask of is MORE TAR ON THE ROAD faggots.

Everytime my tyre squeals I hope that who ever ate up all the sanctions would die...for this is the road to hell

BEE ESS YEN EL:I am sure almost all of us have been in a situation where you have this really important call to make from a remote area, and all you could get is a display on your mobiles 'NO SERVICE' when you are inside the network coverage area...well if you do not get you are luckily not using BSNL...
From the time BSNL introduced cellular conectivity in Mizoram, I have never been satisfied with their cell networks man the transition from one cell to another is fucked up...sure put up more towers but hello...that surely hasn't solved the probs, and we have no GPRS or GSM damn and we pay a fortune for bills. The game is ugly and the playaz are well they are not worth my criticism...I wonder when AIRTEL stops advertising and starts servicing...seen red and white all over the town...

hey you could you help me to carry the stone? Don't give up, Together we fight

LOCAL TELEVISION SCARES THE SHIT OUT OF ME: (Digital media on emphetamines)
There was a huge fire, burning up downtown and it was being telecast LIVE...what was that shit about??? If It was breaking news than where the hell was the news reporter, Is he/she dumb and deaf...Such a tragedy it is, those buisnesses burnt down, the lives of people ruined, do we care...do you remember them after that night man I have seen bigger fires being put out, I have been in a wild fire trying to put it out...but it's the first time I have seen it live on tv Twice over...give reports or don't telecast at all you dumb producers blind media person, moron camera person and all the crew FUCK YOU...If you have NEWS bring it on.
"Hey yo, and dick with this...! LISTEN Here is RATM to see me through.
Word is born,Fight the war, fuck the norm
Now I got no patience,So sick of complacence
With the D the E the F the I the A the N the C the E
Mind of a revolutionary,So clear the lane
The finger to the land of the chains
What? The land of the free? Whoever told you that is your enemy?"

"ANGER IS A GIFT"-from freedom RATM
"Some of those that work forces, are the same that burn crosses" Killin in the name of......Those who died are justified, for wearing the badge, they're the chosen whites, You justify those that died by wearing the badge, they're the chosen whites
"Come on!
Yes I know my enemies
They're the teachers who taught me to fight me
Compromise, conformity, assimilation, submission
Ignorance, hypocrisy, brutality, the elite"
DESTROY OUR NATION DESTROYOURNATIONDESTROYOURNATIONDESTROYOURNATION
FIST IN THE AIR IN THE LAND OF HYPOCRISY

2006-02-25T22:28:00.000-08:00

AN INTRODUCTION BY THE MADMAN FOR A FRIEND

I have a friend, many galaxies away within this solar system, We met through a transmission one day on a guerilla radio...
(Words to Prez {Pubic} Bush…we aren’t terrorists like you.We are renegades).
She is, well, I can say my ‘spiritual twin’, “The” friend I always wanted. One hell of a writer too, I became an instant fan of hers when I read the article she wrote for various publications…She PDFd me…she is funny, and serious at the same time, but I just love the satire in her works…
But I tell you this when she first mailed me her reviews for a magazine on Coldplay’s X&Y I was a tad annoyed coz I am of the opinion that it’s a very good album, and she almost wrote it off this planet …No offence Selma!!! Oh! She is a SHINODA Freak.
We share so many things in common that I sometimes think well she is my female version and I am her Male version… Maybe Computer programs aren’t the only one with versions after all 
Ours is a relationship that’s not entirely friendship, it’s something more than that, no way in hell a gal boy boring relationship, its more of a connection of the mind, its pure artistry, work of divinity in delicate hands of the gods. We are the force of creation…We are the renegades of our time which is NOW!
This is an Introduction for her to whomsoever reads this blog, coz we are gonna share this place to write off our views about whatever. To start things off, here is something that she wrote that made me sit up, Please note here I have to edit few lines in between, so go read on;
POTTY PARANOIA
-NICO-
“….Some of our sisters are apparently out to prove Darwin’s theory! If you are wondering whether the potty companies have started manufacturing potty seats with shoe soles imprints on them, the answer is a firm ‘no’. You might find it hilarious but I’ve seen women striking a monkey-like stance on the potty with their feet on the edges of the seat, desperately trying to maintain a balance – one wrong move and plop they go down in the piss pool! Believe me, I’ve seen you ladies doing that. How / when? Now that’s another story.
Now they tell me that the squat queens are a wee bit paranoid about resting their royal
Derrieres on the ‘hot’ seat. STD scare, y’know? But there is good news for the paranoid
ladies – medical experts say that it’s impossible to get infected even if you sit on the toilet seat right after someone with an STD [that’s sexually transmitted disease by the way, not subscribers trunk dialing] does coz the urine itself is sterile.
We can’t blame the ladies, can we? What with the potty seats liberally sprayed with that yellowish fluid. Awww… what do you do in there anyways - [and this question is aimed towards the human spray cans] - straddle the damn thing and jiggle?
And this, I assume, explains the Egyptian mummies standing in as dear ol’ potties. I’d heard about panty-liners but potty liners? This is the strategy adopted by those ladies who can’t do the ‘monkey’. So instead, they line up the seat with tissue paper before taking their seat. So much for the ‘save paper – save environment’ campaign!
Ladies, I hate to tell you this but it is totally obnoxious to do ‘it’ on the floor! My respects to the monkey strategists here. Well… I know a young lady who actually prefers the floor to the ‘throne’. Her explanation – someone’s told her that she might get pregnant! And pray how’s that going to happen? Well, during the act, if her piss bounces back mixed with stale piss that contains ahem… seminal fluid, it might just find its way into her vagina and impregnate her!! Haw haw haw…
Bathroom singers, all right, but loo smokers? Hate me for this, ladies, but you seem to be mistaking the ass-tray for an ashtray. Every time I walk into a public loo I freak out, y’know. The thought that those tiny white cylindrical stuff are staring up my ass while I’m at it, kinda unnerves me. I mean I must have watched The Matrix one time too many, particularly that scene where something wiggles its way into Neo’s navel, and I can’t bear the thought of that half-smoked lipstick-stained nico stick doing the same through my nether zones! Y’know it’s frustration big time when y’all go in there to ‘powder’ your nose and spend time out there what seems like an eternity to those waiting outside whose bladders are about to give in to the pressure. What do you think; you’re going to get spotted by a model scout anytime? Fat chance! Wait till my kidneys conk out and then I’m going to sue you for deliberate and malicious damage to my properties!
One last question before I leave – do you really think you’ll be abducted by aliens if you
enter a loo alone? Believe me, it’s damn irritating when you have to cross and uncross you legs and hold it while you two chirpy ladies decide to swap jokes and gossips there. And yes, it’s also not an ideal place to discuss with your best buddy your love life or lack of it. Other people also have to pee, you see? And the ultimate rule for the loo frequenters – please flush! I’m all for the freedom of bowel movement but it kinda turns my bowels inside out when, after a nice lunch or dinner, I come face to face with nice sized bombs you have left floating in the potty. So peeple, pee and let pee, y’know what I mean?”

(N>B: I have full authorization from the author of this article….So if anybody thinks of suing me…you –can- rot- in- hell)

2006-02-19T11:36:00.000-08:00

Just foolin around and hey sunshine if you are reading this just click on I wanna and you will travel..not fooling you \...These days are really happenin good for me...in terms of friends and family though very busy I shall very soon be opening my restaurant will update as and when...I have this friend and I wish you were here when I open my eatin place open...

2005-12-16T06:28:00.000-08:00

I am a little not pissed today than yesterday... but I dunno my life is bogged down by a demented drunk, who craves attention from anybody,everybody... He lives with us but what a life he is living, drunk twenty four seven... Anything he does he expects some praise like a kid who does the same. The other day he brought home a bitch ( look what the cat dragged in...shit) and we kicked her out of our place and she asked for cash...yea a classic whore and a racist too... God, what a low life. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired of my demented brother who is more or less like Barney ( The Simpsons), He uses the phone all the time (I know I am bitching) and lord knows who he talks to till 3 am... and some people he meets are just like him... Men and Women.
And whatever he does, bad stuff, he says something like "I don't know what I did wrong" and I am hollering ...Find me the solution... killing him would be a sin.

2005-12-15T08:04:00.000-08:00

I hate it when I am like what I am today...everything seemed like a tunnel vision, my girl went to a concert venue while I was at work and am damn pissed off, she talked non stop about how busy she was helping out the organisers, and I had lots of problems to solve and yea I am pissed off...She is going again 2moro and what a bloody joke it is for me because she told me, a month ago that her friends sister is getting married and its Important that she attends the wedding, now freak show is more important... From where I stand. I don't know how Important I am to her though she says she cares... And that for a joke like Bombay Vikings whose lead singer always seems to have a pitch problem- live.

2005-11-01T16:15:00.000-08:00

Little things becomes bigger,
Darkness soon to light,
A phenomenon simplified.
Similarity with differences,
To choose without choice,
Freedom a crude device.
Race without a runner,
Lost within the periphery
Pure Ludicrous!!!
Loneliness without longing

Psychotropic without the kick
Addiction a mere habit
Rusting without corrosion
Swallowed by pain
Siphon just a pressure.

Man of clay, blood running cold.
Hope without dreams,
Vatican without the Pope,
Heaven for believers,
Innocent until proven guilty,
Castrated by the guilty, justice a fucking farce!!

Men and Women to love, not
Man and man to probe, and
Women and women to lick,
Gay rights a toxicity,
Pollution rates the same,
holes only made higher

Little things becomes bigger,
darkness soon to light.
Religion without religiosity,
Bigots in the church,
Atoms became bombs and bombs becomes Nuclear,
A phenomenon simplified,
that will end us allTill then, think not of this but better things to come

2005-11-01T10:15:00.000-08:00

The world according to Jose Mourinho

On his arrival - June 2004 (To Chelsea)

I intend to give my best, to improve things and to create the football team in relation to my image and my football philosophy.
We have top players and, sorry if I'm arrogant, we have a top manager.
I'm not a defender of old or new football managers. I believe in good ones and bad ones, those that achieve success and those that don't. Please don't call me arrogant, but I'm European champion and I think I'm a special one.
I don't want special relations with one of them (his players). I hate to speak about individuals. Players don't win you trophies, teams win trophies, squads win trophies.

On his new job - July 2004

If I wanted to have an easy job...I would have stayed at Porto - beautiful blue chair, the Uefa Champions League trophy, God, and after God, me.

On Tottenham - September 2004

As we say in Portugal, they brought the bus and they left the bus in front of the goal. I would have been frustrated if I had been a supporter who paid £50 to watch this game because Spurs came to defend. There was only one team looking to win, they only came not to concede - it's not fair for the football we played.

On Arsenal after their 5-4 win at Spurs - November 2004

That was not a football score, it was a hockey score...in training I often play matches of three against three and when the score reaches 5-4 I send the players back to the dressing room, because they are not defending properly.

On Thierry Henry's quick free-kick in 2-2 draw - December 2004

I am more than unhappy. Unhappy is a nice word.

On leading the title race - February 2005

We are on top at the moment but not because of the club's financial power. We are in contention for a lot of trophies because of my hard work

On the loss of their 100% league record at Everton - October 2005

I may look stupid saying this, but I think we should be going home with three points because we scored two great goals and usually, when you score two and concede one, you win the game.

On Arsenal's French farce of a penalty - October 2005

You have to wonder why they did that penalty. Because they have so many penalties in the season, that's why. They have to do something special and different.

On Arsene Wenger - October 2005

I think he is one of these people who is a voyeur. He likes to watch other people. There are some guys who, when they are at home, have a big telescope to see what happens in other families. He speaks, speaks, speaks about Chelsea.

News: Mourinho labels Wenger a 'voyeur'

Tale spin

2005-10-14T09:29:00.000-07:00

Everyone’s got a story to tell, and everyone knows about it.
It’s only a matter of words, why one is superior to another.
Every story is unique on its own, and everybody has one,
It’s only how you narrate it that makes it a tale.

If it’s Interesting, some may read it
If it’s critical, some may react to it
If it’s wacky enough, some may spread it around
If it’s adventurous, Spielberg might make a movie out of it
If it’s redundant and out of bound, forget about writing

I am definitely not a publishers dream, but why worry when I can blog.
But honestly, no one wants to read about how bad your sandwich was at lunch,
That’s not exactly what grandfather tales are made of.

2005-10-13T22:16:00.000-07:00

Aizawl: Two days ago a young man was tortured to death after confessing to a theft. Apprehended under suspection,by the Young Mizo Association(YMA), the social police in Mizoram, Aizawl.
He was asked to confess to his crime and without much hesitation, he confessed breaking into a girls hostel and taking a gold chain and three thousand Indian Rupees.
The YMA asked him to give back whatever he took from the hostel, the already convicted burglar managed to give the gold chain back and 1000 Indian Rupees back, after failing to produce rest of the amount he was man-handled inhumanly by according to locals, at least 35 people.
After he was rendered senseless, the YMA tried to hand him on to the police, but because of his condition they refused to take him in custody and shortly after they took him home he passed away in pain, unable to say anything.
This is not the first time and won't be the last crime commited by the so called YMA, the government won't act because they have Influences, the Police can't do a thing because of the politicians and local leaders. What we really need is International intervention or crime against humanity will never end here.